You Matter · Free Educational Resource

SAFE SIGNAL

Create a private signal and a practical plan — for yourself or someone you care about.

If you are in immediate danger right now, call 911. If you need crisis support, call or text 988. National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233. This page will help you plan; it cannot intervene in an emergency.

What Is a Safe Signal?

A safe signal is a prearranged, private code between you and at least one trusted person that means: “I am not okay. Please help.” It can be used when you cannot speak openly — because someone harmful is present, because you are too distressed to explain, or because speaking the words out loud feels impossible.

Safe signals are used by people experiencing domestic violence, mental health crises, family conflict, or any situation where direct communication is not safe or possible. They are a practical tool, not a last resort.

How to Create Your Signal

Step 1 — Choose a trusted person

Someone who will respond quickly, keep the signal confidential, and know what to do when they receive it. This should not be someone who lives with the person you are worried about harming you.

Step 2 — Agree on the signal

It should be something you can send or show naturally without raising suspicion. Examples: a specific emoji in a text, an ordinary phrase like “Can you call me about Tuesday?”, a missed call, or a specific item placed in a window.

Step 3 — Define what the response looks like

What will your trusted person do when they receive it? Call you within 10 minutes? Come to your location? Contact a specific person? Call 911 if you don’t respond to a follow-up? Agree on this in advance so there is no confusion.

Step 4 — Practice

In a low-stakes moment, test the signal so both of you know it works and the response feels natural.

Step 5 — Store the plan somewhere safe

Write down the key numbers and steps. Store it somewhere not accessible to the person who may cause harm — a trusted friend’s home, an email draft, or a locked note on your phone.

Your Practical Support Plan

A support plan outlines what you will do and who you will call in different scenarios. Thinking it through now — when you are calm — makes it easier to act when you are not.

My safe signal is: ___________________________
My trusted person is: ___________________________ · Their number: _______________
When they receive the signal, they will: ___________________________
If I need to leave quickly, I will go to: ___________________________
Documents / items to have ready: ID, medications, phone charger, emergency cash, important documents
Emergency numbers I know by memory or have saved: 911 · 988 · 800-799-7233 (DV Hotline)

This plan template is for your use only. Do not submit it anywhere. Store it safely away from anyone who might harm you.

Planning Is Not Weakness

Having a plan means you have thought ahead. It does not mean something bad will happen — it means you are prepared if it does. That is strength.

This resource is free. No purchase is required to access You Matter support and education.

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